Reclaiming Your Kid’s Spirit
To be a child is to embody spirit. It is the life force that surrounds our kids, that powers their desire to discover, their need to explore, and is the oxygen for wonderment.
The first known use of the word ‘Spirit’ is found in 13th-century manuscripts from Europe. The use pertains to the ‘breath’ or ‘of the wind’ and is often used to describe the ‘breath of God‘. The Cambridge Dictionary defines ‘Spirit’ as, “A state of mind or attitude: the inner character of a person, thought of as different from the material person we can see and touch.”
Yet of all the definitions and historical context I researched about the word and idea of ‘Spirit’, it is one from a Shaman that resonated with me most. He describes spirit as follows:
“It means that you have an abundance of Life Force. Or Elan Vital. Imagine each person is like a light, some shine brightly.. some dim…You can feel the glow coming off bright light people. These people are full of LIFE or SPIRIT.”
Now, let’s imagine a world without spirit. Where everyone is dimly lit…
I believe that the spirit of our kids is under attack today with disregard to their mental health and their physical wellbeing. Because of that, children need us more than ever. They need us to provide the opportunity for them to play with abandon, take risks, run wild, explore their word, succeed at something new, fail at something else, and allow for the natural course of childhood spirit to run free. As parents, educators, and caregivers, we must allow childhood to flourish as it has evolved to do so over millions of years and we must be an example of spirit. Our lights must shine bright so theirs can burn as well.
There are four factors that I believe are damaging the spirit of our kids.
- Too Much Information
Our kids are presented with so much information through so many outlets. That information and its dissemination are painstaking for anyone to digest, analyze, and act upon, much less a ten-year-old. While technology certainly makes our lives easier and more efficient at times, it is no replacement for human contact and interaction. Providing kids with the opportunity to come together, to foster positive human relationships, and communicate in the non-technological world is vital. It reminds kids that the best kind of friend in life is the living, breathing one right in front of you. - Lack of Physical Activity
The average 8–10 year old spends eight hours behind a screen during the week (more for older kids). That same kid only spends four hours of free play outside. I’m not talking about a ‘Play Date’ — that is an oxymoron. Being outdoors, playing, and moving your body can not be underestimated for its place in the natural growth and maturation of a child. Playing encourages risk-taking, independent decision-making, cooperation, trust, and problem-solving. These are the traits and skills that will allow our kids to grow happy, successful, and strong. When kids are involved in activities such as these, the results are powerful. Those results can be a greater sense of self-esteem, a greater sense of confidence, the ability to deal with failure, and a love for an active lifestyle, to name a few. - Increased Anxiety and Insecurity
Kids are pretty resilient and smart. They get that in Toy Story, the creepy kid Sid that destroys toys isn’t real. They understand that hurricanes cause a lot of problems, but they can be fixed. What they don’t get is 17 kids being gunned down in a school just like theirs. They don’t get having to shelter in place and they shouldn’t have to. They are constantly warned about the effects of bullying but witness the leaders of their own country bullying others daily. They get all this stuff. It comes across on their Twitter Feed, TiK Tok, and Instagram Stories. As hard as it is for you and me to comprehend this kind of nonsense, imagine how they must feel. We must provide kids with a refuge and harbor, where security, safety, love and compassion, and character are felt every day. We must place faith back into humanity and love back into a worried heart. - Parents That Are Challenged To Provide Good Parenting
In the attempt to protect our children from the potential harms of life, many parents end up handicapping their kids and preventing them from flourishing to become confident and independent people. If we want to grow happy, healthy adults, then we must provide the opportunity for our kids to be happy and healthy. That means giving them the opportunities to try new things, explore their world, make independent decisions, and fail as well as succeed. Too many parents have essentially bubble wrapped their kids and constructed an environment where their kids simply will not grow as they should. We have a culture of parents who believe they need to over schedules their kids in organized sports and activities but won’t let their kids go outside and simply play on their terms. The need for kids to explore their world with no direction from a parent is as crucial as water to grass. Without the opportunity for a child to lead that play in some form is preventing our kids from reaching their human potential.
What I am telling you is that we have a unique opportunity to turn that tide. We as parents, educators, and caregivers can provide for the comfort, hope, excitement, fun, adventure, friendships, confidence, and growth. To do so, will require our spirit. There are five things I believe we must all do to help our kids reclaim their spirit.
1. Find Your Own Spirit First
As a parent or caregiver, we are charged with the mission to draw that spirit out of ourselves first. We can’t inspire our kids to flourish and truly be spirited unless we exemplify it first in ourselves. Therefore, find your spirit, your mojo, your soul. Find that something that makes you get up and wants to go to work, that feeling you get when you embark on a road trip, the excitement you experience when you are truly passionate about something.
2. Inspiration and Expectations Give Kids Purpose
Helping a child reclaim his spirit does not mean sending them off to the wilds on their own accord and a bag of chips. It means setting clear expectations and boundaries also. The balance of inspiration and expectation provides both freedom and direction. So give them clear expectations, inspire them to carry those out, praise them when they accomplish them and hold them accountable when they don’t.
3. Foster Positivity and Positivity Will Foster Your Culture|
Foster a culture of positiveness. Foster a culture of kindness and energy and respect. If you do, it will perpetuate itself. Parenting doesn’t build character. Parents build character. Parenting just provides a very positive, safe, and comfortable setting with which to do so. That begins and ends with your culture. How you demonstrate your character to your kids will dictate the culture of your family and how those kids follow. Good character adults were good character kids. We learn to have good character when we are young because of those around us. So be a garden for healthy character. You are simply tending that garden.
5. Give Yourself A Break
I am quite confident that one of the reasons you have chosen to read this essay is because you have standards — and you are seeking to improve yourself and those standards. I would also wager that like many parents or caregivers, your standards can be unreasonably high. Being a parent or caregiver to a child is one of the hardest and most painstaking jobs. You beat yourself up for screwing up, knowing that mistakes are part of the journey. You have got to learn to give yourself a break.
The spirit of a child will determine in great part, the happiness and success of a person as they grow old. That spirit lives in each of us. It’s a desire to be adventurous, to take a chance, to try something new and make something greater than what we thought it could be. It’s our soul. And for every parent and anyone caring for a child, that soul or spirit exists in its highest form when serving and improving the lives of others.
So go help your kids reclaim their spirit. They will be happier, healthier, and love you more for it. In the process, perhaps you will even reclaim your own.
